哦﹐那不肯放我之愛

 「 …… 我以永遠的愛、愛你、因此我以慈愛、吸引你。」 (耶利米書卅一:

  哦﹐那不肯放我之愛﹐我將疲魂安息于你﹔

我把所欠余生歸來﹐好使它在你這深海﹐得更丰滿洋溢。

   哦﹐那照耀我路之光﹐我將殘燈帶來交你﹔

我心因得你光復亮﹐它的日子藉你太陽﹐得更光明美麗。

    哦﹐那苦中尋我之樂﹐我心不能向你關閉﹐

我在雨中彩虹尋得﹐知你應許不會空說﹐天亮便無淚涕。

    哦﹐那使我抬頭十架﹐我不敢求與你稍離﹔

今生虛榮死葬土下﹐那土長出生命紅花﹐永遠開放不已。

介紹

馬得勝 (George Matheson, 1842-1906 ) 生於一八四○年蘇格蘭的歌斯高,父母親均愛主及敬虔。父親是當地教會的長老。他十四歲就在家庭聚會講道,有一篇「我們在天上的父」還被印出來傳閱。由於他出生十八個月時眼睛因病受到感染,視力逐漸變壞,只能用微弱的視力來閱讀,到十八歲幾乎近於全盲,雖然他的視力不良,仍於二十二歲讀完碩士學位,三十九歲獲得博士學位。 他雖雙目失明,但得勝 記憶力驚人,他能背得講章和一整段的聖經,所以聽眾一點都不感覺到他是瞎子。他博學宏才,講道感人十九世紀蘇格蘭最有力的一位佈道家。他好學不倦,在牧養教會之餘,還寫了許多靈修書籍。那麼他的秘訣在甚麼地方呢? 因為他有一個愛主的姊姊,無私犧牲的扶持他。他的姊姊知道弟弟瞎了,又要事奉神,便決定終生不嫁,幫助他的弟弟。她學會了拉丁,希臘和希伯來三種文字就是要給他弟弟一臂之力。所以弟弟每次要講道的時候,要查很多的資料,要寫甚麼,她就幫助他,作他的眼,作他的手。這是非常偉大、感人的見證。

關於這首詩寫作的背景,馬提遜告訴我們,寫這首詩歌完全是一時靈感的結果。寫詩的時候是他四十歲的那一年六月六日晚上。那一個晚上是她妹妹的婚禮,家人都去了格拉斯哥(Glasgow)忙於辦理婚禮之事,只有他一個人留在家裡,獨自潛思默想。事實上,他在十八歲以前已與一女孩子熱戀,可是這個女孩子知道他的眼睛將要失明以後,便離他而去了。妹妹的婚禮帶來他很大傷感,這首詩便是痛苦所結的果子。馬得勝說到這首詩的產生經過:「突然一件事臨到了我,那件事只有我自己知道,是我心中極度的痛苦;這首詩歌是我痛苦的結晶。」他又說:「這是我一生中所做最快的一件事。」當裡面的聲音出來的時候,這首詩歌就很自然地出來了;時間只是五分鐘。他還說:「等我寫完最後一個字的時候(共有四節),第一個字的墨還沒有乾。」他寫這首詩不單快速,連一個字也沒有改過。在最後一節他寫到『讓紅花開遍』一句時,特別想到犧牲精神所開的鮮花。因為白花象徵興盛,紅花則代表為愛犧牲自己所開之花。」

在他眼疾的痛苦中,使他的屬靈生命得以在內在的啟示和異象中成長,使他外在的恩賜能彰顯出內在的生命。他成為當代屬靈的領袖,到處點起愛主的火焰,引領許多心靈渴慕主的信徒進入與主交通、背十架的道路,為後來英國教會的復興立下了一塊美好的根基。他的另一首詩歌「求主把我捆綁」或譯為「願作主囚」,最能說明主耶穌所說之「由死亡得生命的奧秘」。

這首詩的曲調是蘇格蘭著名的風琴演奏家皮斯(Albert L. Peace, 1844-1912)所譜。 皮斯係當代音樂神童,九歲就任英國一大教堂的琴師,後入牛津大學攻讀音樂,獲音樂博土學位;歷任數大教堂風琴師,英皇家風琴學院教授。

“我的神啊,我曾為我的玫瑰感謝過你一千次,卻沒有為我的刺感謝過你一次;我一直注目仰望那個因背十字架而得的獎賞,卻從來沒有想過十字架本身就是現在榮耀的獎賞。” 馬得勝

詩歌

那不肯放我之愛

哦, 那不肯放我之愛,我將疲魂安息与你—不是我們來愛主,是主來愛我們。而且這個愛乃是超越的不肯放棄我們的愛。我們的一生又何嘗不是在被主的愛征服后,才將我們的疲魂安息于主,從他里面得到永遠的,完全的安息。

我把所欠余生歸來,好使它在你這深海,得更丰滿洋溢—當我們与主愛的聯結遠遠超過了一般所說的信托,我們才會領悟我們所有的一切都是屬于主的,我們還能活著的日子也都是欠主的。也只有把我們的光陰歸于主,才能夠得更丰滿洋溢。

那照耀我路之光

哦,那照耀我路之光,我將殘燈帶來交你—我們的一生是何其的有限。我們所做的,可以努力的,可以生發出來的,都是極其有限的。我們只不過是一盞盞的微弱的燈。但主就是那真光,而這真光要照耀我們一生的路途,做我們一生的依賴和把握。

我心因得你光复亮—當我們專一的對准主,我們的心也就亮起來了。“眼睛就是身上的燈。你的眼睛若嘹亮,全身就光明;你的眼睛若昏花,全身就黑暗。你里頭的光若黑暗了,那黑暗是何等大呢!”(太六22-23)。

它的日子借你太陽,得更光明美麗—主啊,因著你的救贖,你的無限的愛,我們的人生才變的更光明美麗,我們才得著今生的安息,來世的盼望。

那苦中尋我之樂

哦, 那苦中尋我之樂,我心不能向你關閉—主的愛從來不肯放過我們,他是苦苦地尋找那失喪的小羊。沒有主的人生是可悲的一生,痛苦的一生。主啊,你就是那喜樂的源頭,我的心怎能向你關閉!

我在雨中彩虹尋得,知你應許不會空說—神是信實的,這叫作者能見證說,“主的應許不會空說。”

天亮便無淚涕—人生的路途中,我們還會有許多的磨難,許多的黑暗。但是,我們要學會忍耐,要持守住主給我們的一切。到主再來的時候,我們也就再無淚涕了。

那使我抬頭十架

作者真摯地向主禱告:“哦,那使我抬頭十架,我不敢求与你稍离;”在等候主再來的途中,十字架就是一切。十字架是有苦難,但十字架所帶來的屬天的實際,又是何等的榮美,安詳。

今生虛榮死葬土下,那土長出生命紅花,永遠開放不已—世人的享受和快樂,只是曇花一現。真正屬天的安詳,屬神的尊榮,乃是從一個与十字架不曾稍离的人所活出來的。我們是疲魂,是殘燈,是不能守信的,但主卻是愛,是光,是信實的。有主的一生,是何等的有福的一生,我們那生命的紅花,將會永遠開放不已。

O Love, That Wilt Not Let Me Go

Words: George Matheson, 1882. Music: Albert Peace, 1884.

The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: "I have loved you with an everlasting love;

I have drawn you with unfailing kindness. Jeremiah 31 :3

O Love that wilt not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee;

I give thee back the life I owe, That in thine ocean depths its flow

May richer, fuller be.
 

O light that followest all my way, I yield my flickering torch to thee;

My heart restores its borrowed ray, That in thy sunshine’s blaze its day

May brighter, fairer be.
 

O Joy that seekest me through pain, I cannot close my heart to thee;

I trace the rainbow through the rain, And feel the promise is not vain,

That morn shall tearless be.
 

O Cross that liftest up my head, I dare not ask to fly from thee;

I lay in dust life’s glory dead, And from the ground there blossoms red

Life that shall endless be.

History of Hymn

“O Love That Will Not Let Me Go” written on the evening of Matheson’s sister’s marriage. His whole family had went to the wedding and had left him alone. And he writes of something which had happened to him that caused immense mental anguish. There is a story of how years before, he had been engaged until his fiancÚ learned that he was going blind, and there was nothing the doctors could do, and she told him that she could not go through life with a blind man. He went blind while studying for the ministry, and his sister had been the one who had taken care of him all these years, but now she is gone. He had been a brilliant student, some say that if he hadn’t went blind he could have been the leader of the church of Scotland in his day. He had written a learned work on German theology and then wrote “The Growth of The Spirit of Christianity.” Louis Benson says this was a brilliant book but with some major mistakes in it. When some critics pointed out the mistakes and charged him with being an inaccurate student he was heartbroken. One of his friends wrote, “When he saw that for the purposes of scholarship his blindness was a fatal hindrance, he withdrew from the field – not without pangs, but finally.” So he turned to the pastoral ministry, and the Lord has richly blessed him, finally bringing him to a church where he regularly preached to over 1500 people each week. But he was only able to do this because of the care of his sister and now she was married and gone. Who will care for him, a blind man? Not only that, but his sister’s marriage brought fresh reminder of his own heartbreak, over his fiancÚ’s refusal to “go through life with a blind man.” It is the midst of this circumstance and intense sadness that the Lord gives him this hymn – written he says in 5 minutes! Looking back over his life, he once wrote that his was “an obstructed life, a circumscribed life… but a life of quenchless hopefulness, a life which has beaten persistently against the cage of circumstance, and which even at the time of abandoned work has said not “Good night” but “Good morning.” How could he maintain quenchless hopefulness in the midst of such circumstances and trials? His hymn gives us a clue. “I trace the rainbow in the rain, and feel the promise is not vain” The rainbow image is not for him “If the Lord gives you lemons make lemonade” but a picture of the Lord’s commitment! It is a picture of the battle bow that appears when the skies are darkening and threaten to open up and flood the world again in judgment. But then we see that the battle bow is turned not towards us – but toward the Lord Himself!

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