默默無聞的女傳教士---和受恩（M.E.BARBER）
“似乎不為人所知。”(哥林多後書六章九節)
和受恩（M.E.BARBER）是個很陌生的名字。不只在世界裡﹐就是在基督徒中間也是很陌生的。有人也許會發現她的名字曾出現于英文本的《荒漠甘泉》裡﹐只此而已。她是英國人﹐但是世界名人錄（WHO'SWHO）裡找不到她﹔她是個傳教士﹐但是她不像李文斯敦﹑戴德生等﹐留下一些轟轟烈烈的事跡。她工作的範圍不大﹐也許僅限於中國一角的荒僻鄉村﹐不像衛斯理約翰能說﹕“全世界是我的牧區”。她寫詩﹐但是不像查理衛斯理﹑以撒華滋等人的詩歌﹐幾乎見于每一種基督徒歌本詩集。她愛主﹐屬靈生命成熟﹐但是不像陶勒﹑蓋恩夫人﹑慕安得烈等有許多著作留傳后代。
她似乎是個孤單的客旅﹐靜悄悄地來到這世界。一八六九年生在英國Suffolk的Peasahall這個地方﹐六十一年後又靜悄悄地走了。在這短短的人生旅程中﹐她曾兩度答應主的呼召﹐拋棄了家園﹐隻身飄洋過海地來到幾千里外那時候還是十分落後的中國﹐在靠近福建省城的白牙潭住下﹔默默地把她一生最好的時光獻上﹐為主工作﹐忠心到死。當她被送到墓地安葬時﹐有位弟兄講起馬利亞的事說﹕“她所作的﹐是盡她所能的﹐像馬利亞一樣。”一生得她助益很大的倪柝聲弟兄﹐當時雖不在場﹐但後來感慨地說﹕“她為主把自己蹧蹋了。”
有一次有人問她﹕“作工的條件是什麼﹖”她回答說﹕“作工的條件就是肯為神不作工。”得她幫助的一些中國年輕人為她著急﹐希奇她為什麼不出去設立聚會﹐到較大的城市作工呢﹖住在一個小小的鄉村裡﹐什麼事情似乎都不會發生﹐對於她簡直是枉費時光。那時候﹐一位去看她的弟兄幾
乎是嚷著對她說﹕“沒有人像你那樣地認識主﹐你最能活讀聖經﹐你沒看見週圍的需要麼﹖為什麼你不出去作一些事呢﹖你坐在這裡﹐什麼也不作﹐實在是枉費時間﹑枉費精力﹑枉費金錢﹐什麼都枉費了﹗”真的枉費了麼﹖五十幾年後的今天﹐人們清楚了﹐她是神在中國種下的一顆生命的種籽。
這一粒種籽確曾孤單﹑卑微﹑隱藏。但是感謝神﹗他使她開花結果﹐只有神知道有多少人直接或間接地得著了她屬靈的幫助。她所在的白牙潭對面是著名的福建名勝古蹟----羅星塔﹐經年吸引了不少的遊客﹔然而神卻使荒僻的白牙潭也成了一個可紀念的地方。因著和受恩教士默默的耕耘﹐神藉著她在那裡建立了一座屬靈的燈塔﹐照向整個的中國﹐使多少愛主並愛慕他顯現的人找到了屬靈的方向。神使她結果累累。但她活著的時候﹐神卻不讓她知道。深哉﹐神豐富的智慧和知識﹐他的判斷何其難測﹐他的腳蹤何其難尋﹗誰知道主的心﹐誰作過他的謀士呢﹖
“滿了膏的香氣”(約翰福音十二章三節)
和受恩教士到榮耀裡去已經五十餘年了。當時得她幫助如今還健在的人已是屈指可數。時間不能沖淡和教士所給人們的深刻印象。一位在少年時見過和教士而今發已斑白的姊妹仍能記得﹕她是中等身材﹐蛋圓面孔﹐給她的印象是﹕“慈祥﹑穩重﹑敬虔﹑端莊﹑滿了主的光輝﹐使人坐在她身旁﹐感到渾身溫暖。她說話的時候聲調柔和﹐充滿喜樂。能講流利的福州話。逢人總是堆著充滿了愛的笑臉﹐使人看了﹐會忘記人間的苦楚。”論到和教士給人的屬靈供應﹐這位姊妹回憶說﹕“她所釋放的話語﹐滿有亮光﹐滿有生命﹐會叫人撇下一切﹐終生跟隨主。”另一位曾是和教士的學生﹑同工﹑並“真兒子”的﹐現已高齡的弟兄回憶說﹕“我初次見她時﹐她眼如閃電﹐發加銀絲﹐臉面發光像天上的使者﹐顏容慈愛像人間的母親﹐行為極其聖潔﹐服裝極其樸素﹐笑容可掬﹐和藹可親﹐與其他僑居中國的外國人不一樣。行事為人非常謹慎﹐不僅有好名聲﹐也有好榜樣﹔事事處處都是為主﹐為著榮耀神。”在那一本“正常基督徒生活”裡﹐作者倪柝聲常提起一位在屬靈上影響他很深的老姊妹﹐所指的就是和教士。當她被主接去時﹐他發表感想說﹕“她是主裡一個頂深的人﹐她與主的交通和對主的忠心﹐在我看來是世上少有的。”後來無論是在講臺上﹐或私下的談話中﹐也常提起她。他說﹕“我一生中﹐她給我的幫助最大。”又說﹕“我一生一世頂大的幸福﹐就是叫我能夠認識和教士。一九三三年﹐倪弟兄訪問英美﹐並會晤一些當時著名的基督徒領袖﹐像潘湯﹑喬治卡亭﹑雅
各戴樂﹑史百克等人後﹐他說﹕“我真不容易能再找到一位可與和教士相比的﹐也許有一位弟兄可以。”一九三六年他和一位同工談到事奉﹐曾很感慨地說﹕“若是和教士還在﹐我們的光景應該是不一樣。”他形容她是一個發亮的基督徒﹐只要走進她的住處﹐立刻覺得神在那裡。倪弟兄起首為主作工的時候﹐心裡定規無論如何要遵行神的旨意﹐所以就自認已遵行神的旨意了。但是什麼時候他去見一見和教士﹐和她談一談主﹐讀一讀聖經﹐就叫他知道自己是不夠的。
和受恩姊妹住在白牙潭的時候﹐當起來為主說話﹐神不只借著她的話語表達他的旨意。也借著她這個人說話﹐倪弟兄有一次作說﹕“我聽到好多弟兄姊妹說到'成聖'兩個字﹐所以我就去研究成聖的道理﹐我在這新約聖找出二百多節﹐關於'聖'的經文﹐把它都背熟﹑都編好﹐但什麼叫'成聖'﹐我仍不清楚﹐我裡頭感覺是空的﹐直到有一天﹐我碰著這位老姊妹﹐她是那樣的聖潔﹐那一天﹐我的眼睛被開啟了﹐真正看見了什麼叫'成聖'﹐我所碰著的那個人就是聖潔的﹐那一個夠厲害﹐那一個光叫我往前﹐那一個叫我無法逃避﹐那一個光叫我看見'成聖'。”
一九二二年﹐和教士五十三歲﹐倪弟兄尚年輕﹐得救不到二年﹐心中有許多藍圖﹑美麗的想法﹑動人的計劃等著神來批准……﹐以為他有千百件事﹐一旦實現﹐一定好得無比。他興奮地帶著這些到和教士那裡﹐想用這些事來說服她﹐替她主張﹐這一件那一件﹐都是該做的。他後來見證說﹕“在我還沒有開口說明我的計劃之前﹐她先說了幾句極重的話﹔哦﹗扁來了﹗使我深覺羞愧。我的作為竟是如此的出乎天然﹐滿了人的成份。光一進來﹐事情就發生了。我被帶到一個地步﹐祇得向主說﹕‘主啊﹗我的心思只注意肉體的活動﹐但是這裡有一個人﹐她完全不想這些﹐她只有一個動機﹑一個希望﹐就是﹕“為著神”’”
在一張她曾用過的活頁紙上﹐有這麼一句話﹕
“為己我無所求﹐為主我求一切。”
（I want nothing for myself﹐I want everything for the Lord!）”
後來倪弟兄也採用了這句動人的禱告﹐作為他的座右銘。無疑的﹐這個發自和教士深處的禱告﹐恰切的描繪並解釋了她的一生。
“在所應許之地作客”（來11:9）
和受恩教士第一次受差遣到中國﹐是在一八九九年﹐到福建省埃州市﹐在倉前山聖公會所辦的陶淑女子中學裡教了七年書。她有基督豐盛的生命﹐溢流出美好的生活﹐吸引許多學生圍繞在她身旁接受教育﹐因而引起了校長的不滿和同工們的嫉妒。有人以為她熱心過份到神智不清的地步。最後還被加上了莫須有的十大罪狀。當她安靜省察的時候﹐在主面前覺得﹕姆指與小指爭吵﹐都是叫頭受傷﹐還是離開這裡吧﹗她就完全順服﹐悄然地離開了陶淑女子中學。雖然如此﹐由於當時會督相信那些罪狀屬實﹐於是就將她遣回英國。那些告她的罪狀還是送到了英國差會的總部。那時她就學了在十字架蔭影下默默無聲的功課﹐寧可忍受委屈﹐不為自己申辯。直到差會負責人對她說﹕“我用職權吩咐你﹐不要隱瞞﹗”她才把一切的原委說了出來。雖然後來真相大白﹐然而她已付了相當于生命的最高代價。為著滿足神的心﹐她寧可撕碎自己的心。名譽是人的第二個生命﹐對於事奉主的人更是如此。她在十字架的影下不肯搶救自己﹐像約瑟一樣﹕“被撕碎了﹗撕碎了﹗”(創37﹕33)。後來她在英國遇見了潘湯弟兄（D.M.Pantom)﹐得了他許多屬靈的幫助並一同聚會﹐潘弟兄是當時基督徒雜誌《黎明》的主編﹐是一位非常認識聖經預言並明白得勝真理的弟兄。他影響了和教士的一生﹐作一個等候主回來的人。那時她在英國等候兩年﹐等主再為她開路前來中國做工。那段時期﹐都需要用信心禱告求主預備。終於在她四十二歲的那一年﹐她再度回到中國。 這一次﹐沒有一個有力的差
會在背後支持她﹐陪伴她的只有比她小廿歲的外甥女黎愛蓮（M.L.S.Ballard）。黎教士還帶著少數私房錢﹐而和教士只擁有詩篇廿三篇作她唯一的產業。正像亞伯拉罕一樣﹐用信心仰望主﹐負她一切的責任。當她們的船駛進閩江口的時候﹐她心中默默仰望神為她安排前途。這時看到左岸羅星塔附近的白牙潭景色宜人﹐內心感覺這就是今後神為她所預備工作的地方﹐後來果然在白牙潭租到了房子﹐定居下來﹐房東是開辦孤兒院的院長夏姊妹。白牙潭是一個荒僻靠海的地方﹐而和教士所住的又是幾間簡陋的木屋﹐和她第一次來中國時﹐在福州城里所住的花園洋房相較﹐真是形成了強烈的對比。那時候從福州到白牙潭﹐要先坐汽船到馬尾﹐再用小木船渡到白牙潭﹐然後﹐還得沿山邊小路走一程﹐才能到達小山坡上的幾間舊木屋﹐那就是和教士的住處了。山坡頂上的一間是她的臥室和她自己單獨與主交通的地方﹔旁邊一排房屋是為著接待用的。這“白牙潭”在她的心目中就像亞伯拉罕的迦南地一樣是應許之地。神會中途收回這地麼﹖事實上確曾有兩次驚險的經歷﹐原因是房東夏姊妹曾兩次堅決要把房子收回給孤兒院用﹐並且派了土木工將房子整修了一番之後﹐要她在限期內遷離。眼看這些房屋要被收回已成定局﹐然而她相信神的應許不會落空﹐她鎮定安然地向神禱告說﹕“父神啊﹗求你堅定你的應許”。結果房東先後兩次﹐都派專人來說﹕“整修好的房子仍舊由你們住下罷。”從那時起﹐直至一九三O年和教士安息主懷裡後﹐仍由黎愛蓮教士繼續住著在白牙潭工作﹐一直到一九五O年她回英國才離開了這神所應許之地。
“恆久忍耐﹐就得了所應許的。”（來６﹕１５）
雖然白牙潭是神帶領她去的寄居之地﹐然而在那裡的日子﹐他並沒有應許天色常藍。有一天她因為各種的壓力﹐幾乎灰心絕望﹐然而主站在她身邊﹐加給她力量﹐她就寫了一首詩﹕“當向標竿力前”﹐這一首詩中所表達的艱苦與孤單﹐似乎可以從下面一位同工的回憶中略窺一二﹕“她從繁華的倉前山遷到偏僻的白牙潭﹐過著孤單的生活﹐沒有人同心﹐沒有人同情﹐沒有受人一文錢的幫助﹐她眼目單單仰望負她全部責任的主。”那時僑居在福州的西教士們﹐時常傳說和教士因為走主道路﹐獨居白牙潭﹐天天過著很艱苦﹑很貧窮的生活﹐時常穿不暖吃不飽。因此有一位西國姊妹到白牙潭去訪問她﹐要知道個究竟。當她到白牙潭時﹐和教士正在喂狗﹐手拿著麵包和牛奶給狗吃﹐那位外國
傳教士看了就說﹕“外人論到你的都是謊言﹐原來神賜給你是這麼大﹑這麼豐富的恩典﹗”和教士聽了笑一笑﹐說﹕“感謝主!讚美主﹗”
有一次﹐她的口袋已空﹐又有幾筆款項必須支出去。正當這時﹐一個新神學派的人拿了一筆款子來幫助她。但是他給的時候﹐卻多說了幾句話﹐勸她不要太迷信﹐雖然這一筆款對和教士是急需的﹐但她還是謝絕了。她負責向主忠心﹐主也負她的責任。第二天非常奇妙的﹐在英國的潘湯弟兄電匯了一大筆款給她。她曾寫信問潘湯弟兄為什麼匯款給她﹐並且為什麼要電匯﹐潘湯弟兄回信說他也不知道為什麼﹐只是在禱告的時候覺得該匯這筆數目﹐並且該電匯給她。
和教士是個講求屬靈原則的人﹐她寧可象以色列百姓天天在曠野撿嗎哪﹐象以利亞在基立溪旁等著神差遣烏鴉叼餅和肉給她。有一次從外國來了二位弟兄﹐一位姓巴﹐一位姓賀﹐到了白牙潭看望和教士和同工們﹐關心他們的生活和經濟問題﹐建議同工們為主緣故做點生意﹐帶著職業事奉主﹐可以把中國的綠茶﹑刺繡等產品寄到國外給他們代售﹐賺些利潤為主工作使用。和教士為著所領愛的屬靈原則﹐還是婉謝了他們的建議。
“求你在這些年間﹐復興你的作為。”（哈３﹕２）
和受恩教士真是一個禱告的人﹐她不只仰望主在日常生活的需要上供給她﹔她也求主為她們的工作開路。她和黎教士深深知道﹐她們在肉身上極其有限。從外面來看﹐兩個沒有差會支持的弱女子﹐能為主作什麼呢﹖但是她們的屬靈眼光一點都不弱。一心要得著當時十分落後的廣大中國歸向基督﹐這似乎是一個遙遠的美夢。但是﹐她們看准了神必定為自己興起一些有為的青年來﹐為此﹐她們就專一為這件事禱告。每天和教士都單獨的將這事在她臥室上面的小綁樓裡向主呼籲。這一間專屬於她的禱告密室是沒有任何人可以進去的﹐就是黎小姐也不例外。每天下午四點半到五點﹐她和黎教士一定要一同到白牙潭的山上去散步並且同心禱告。一面求主記念白牙潭鄰近的靈魂﹔另一面為著整個的中國向主懇求。她們一共禱告了十年﹐神聽了這個禱告﹐在她住處的附近﹐有一個很大的復興。神興起了一些愛主的青年﹐其中有王載﹑王連俊﹑陸忠信﹑倪柝聲﹑陳再生﹑張詩貞等弟兄。以及葉松芳﹑丁素心﹑宋希娟﹑林瑞玉等姊妹。只有神知道那一次的大復興給中國的基督徒世界帶來何等長遠的影響﹗為著應付這許多的屬靈的需要﹐和教士在白牙潭她所住的地方﹐預備了一排宿舍﹐作為接待用﹔另外有一間較大的﹐作聚會場所。就在這裡﹐時常有定期的造就聚會﹐以一周或半月的時間﹐各地有心追求的學生與知識青年等。據與會的人回憶﹐大會期間每天聚會查經三堂﹐會後還要做筆記﹑抄詩歌等等。此外﹐為著鄰近村莊的慕道朋友們﹐也設立了“學習真道班”﹐對於福音真理有系統地講解﹐就如“神的存在”﹑“人的罪惡”﹑“審判”﹑“主的救恩”等。象這樣一個類似辦教育培養靈性人才的工作﹐和教士如何應付這局面呢﹖她不靠募捐﹑不作廣告﹑她不靠什麼有力的財團﹐只是單單仰望神的供給。
有一次一位弟兄──麥克博士﹐從外國來到白牙潭﹐參觀和教士的工作﹐接見了許多可愛的同工作非常歡喜﹐很受激勵﹐他說﹐他想到同工們沒有固定的薪奉﹐生活費用必定有困難﹐
就建議說﹕“你們可以不可以定一個名稱﹐如某某組織或某某單位﹐待我回國的時候﹐報告我所在地的教會﹐他們就能按時寄款項給你們﹐這樣﹐你們就可以安心工作﹐不必再為經濟所擔心了。”但這一片好意卻沒有被十分固執的和教士所接受。信心的道路的確是孤單的。
她怎樣幫助青年人﹐可從一位老姊妹的回憶中得知一鱗半爪﹕“大家以為她年紀老﹐都稱她為和師姑﹐但她不肯接受說﹕‘我們在主裡﹐不管年
長﹑年幼﹐都是一樣的。年日在主裡算﹐沒有什麼差別﹐你們受恩姊妹好了。’以後弟兄姊妹為著尊敬﹐不叫她名字﹐把和師姑改稱和姊妹。從此以後﹐對年長的其他姊妹﹐也都以姊妹相稱。她對姊妹的教導﹐非常強調必須端莊﹐立志作安靜的人﹐反復以《帖撒羅尼迦前書》﹑《提摩太前書》兩部書闡述其詳﹐引人入勝﹐感人深刻。她教姊妹順服真理﹑順服權柄的真義﹐並強調姊妹蒙頭的重要。她勉勵姊妹們﹐少言語﹐學習仰望神﹐不可為言語爭辯﹐這是沒有益處的﹐只能敗壞所聽見之人﹐正如帖撒尼迦前書二﹑三章所教導的。她對真誠愛主的人﹐極為尊重﹐視為珍寶。她愛護倪柝聲﹑魏光禧﹑陸忠信等弟兄﹐說是﹕因信主﹐作為我的真兒子。感動得他們撇下一切終生事奉主。”
“金蘋果在銀網子裡”（箴２５﹕１１）
大約一九二二年﹐有一年的時間﹐幾乎每星期六﹐倪柝聲都要到和教士那裡得幫助﹐與倪弟兄一起被興起的那些年青人﹐她都去受教導。但不久大家幾乎都望而怯步了﹐因為她責備人非常嚴厲﹐確實使人為難。一位弟兄形容她的對付不近情理。但是每次被對付之後﹐都覺得獲益不淺。
七位在福州聚會的青年﹐每週五聚在一起交通教會的事務﹐但其中大部份時間﹐都花費在倪弟兄和另一位領袖的辯論上。這位做領袖的弟兄年長五歲﹐各人都以自己的意見為是﹐且輕易的批評對方的想法。有的時候﹐倪弟兄發了脾氣﹐但又不肯認錯。他就到和教士那裡﹐向她申訴﹐請她主持正義。和教士卻責備倪弟兄說﹕“聖經上說﹐年幼的應當順服年長﹐你得服他。”倪弟兄不服氣﹐就為自己辯護說﹕“這樣我作不來﹐基督徒也應該要按道理行事。”她說﹕“不是理由的對錯﹐是看聖經怎樣說﹐年幼應當順服年長的。”倪弟兄因著不愉快的爭執﹐前天晚上已哭了一場﹐現在聽了這一番話﹐氣得回家再哭一場。他恨自己為什麼不早一點出世﹐那麼該順服的就不是他而是別一個弟兄了。有趣的是在另外一次的爭論中﹐這位比他大五歲的弟兄沒有順服另一位比他還年長的弟兄﹐很明顯地這一次倪弟兄覺得自己有理﹐是那個同工如何不對﹐他認為這一次必定得勝。但她說﹕“那個同工錯與不錯﹐是另外一個問題。而你現在在我的面前控告你的弟兄﹐你說你象不象一個背十字架的人﹖象不象一隻羔羊﹖”倪弟兄後來見證說﹕她只說了這幾句話﹐他立刻覺得羞愧。他承認在那一年﹐學習了他一生最寶貴的功課。
和受恩姊妹實在知道如何幫助別人。有一次﹐倪弟兄一個晚上寫了好幾首詩﹐拿去給和受恩姊妹看﹐他以為一定會得著稱讚﹐沒想到被澆了一盆冷水。她說﹕“詩像奶與蜜一樣﹐是生命的流露﹐都是經過學功課﹐受對付而來﹐不是一朝一夕成功的。”
倪弟兄決定為主出來作工之後﹐見到和教士。她問他﹕“你是不是為神出來呢﹖但是﹐主要你做什麼呢﹖”倪弟兄說﹕“他要我出來為他做工。”她說﹕“如果主不要你做工怎麼辦呢﹖”倪弟兄說﹕“他定規要我做工。”於是她就讀聖經﹕馬太十五章分餅的事。讀後她就問他說﹕“這事怎麼說的呢﹖”倪弟兄說﹕“當初主把餅和魚放在手裡﹐經過祝福就變成許多了﹐而能使四千人吃飽。”然後她鄭重的說﹕所有在主手裡的餅﹐主都擘開了才分出去的﹐沒有擘開的餅是不能變化而養活別人生命的。”她又說﹕“弟兄﹐請你記住﹐多少時候﹐我
真好像餅那樣對主說﹕‘主啊﹗我奉獻給你﹐但是心中偷偷在仰望說﹕主啊﹗奉獻是奉獻了﹐但千萬不要把我擘開’。我們總是盼望把餅擺在那裡﹐還是那樣好看﹐還是擺在那裡不動。但是每一塊擺在主手裡的餅是沒有不被擘開的。”和受恩姊妹給人的幫助常是句句中肯﹑扣人心弦。
有一次一位老姊妹因為順服主﹐受到人的批評﹐就去告訴和教士。她警告說﹕“撒旦的攻擊﹐你或許靠主站住。撒旦的笑臉﹐恐怕你會降服。”又有一次她寫信給余慈度小姐說﹕“撒旦若能抓住我們的思想﹐撒旦就已經抓住了我們所有的生活。”她每逢有人生病的時候﹐即便是傷風小病﹐她總問說﹕“你知道這是為什麼﹖”
主仆陳再生弟兄回憶當年如何追隨和教士得幫助的情形時說﹕“和教士常給我們講解信心的功課﹐勸勉我走信心的道路﹐她經常對我說一句話﹕‘不要怕﹐只要信。’這是我一生不會忘記的”。有一次她和一位年青弟兄一同禱告﹐又讀了一段聖經──以西結書四十四章關於事奉主﹐還是事奉殿的那一段──她說﹕“小弟兄﹐我二十多年前就讀到這段聖經了﹐那時我立刻把聖經合起來﹐跪下來禱告說﹕‘主啊﹗讓我事奉你。不讓我事奉殿。’象這樣對青年聖徒的幫助﹐不知道遠超過多少次的特別聚會和多少篇的講章。”後來證明這些幫助是永久的功效﹐它供應得幫助者的一生。
“他們的腳蹤何等佳美”（羅１０﹕１５）
雖然和教士被公認是善於教導﹐注意屬靈造就的人﹔然而﹐她沒有放棄向眾人傳福音的本份。離白牙潭十多里的營前﹑黃石﹑下洋鄉﹐在一位李姓慕道朋友的家裡﹐時常有人看到和教士坐在廚房爐灶前的小凳上一邊為李家燒火煮飯﹐一邊用辛苦學來的福州話向慕道朋友的一家及其他人宣揚福音。
起初她因為不會講中國話﹐對於傳福音的工作感到困難﹐於是聘請一位聖公會的李愛民牧師教她學習福州話﹐不久她就學會了。她因為搶救靈魂心切﹐同李愛民牧師等到連江縣佈道﹐主的聖靈與她同去﹐結果有一位青年阮彼得得救歸主﹐後來又陸續的也有一班老年婦女接受主耶穌的救恩﹐離棄偶像歸向神﹐其中有的甚至一生奉獻為主﹐並且做了她的同工。過了不多年﹐信主的人數逐漸增多﹐她就在長樂﹑連江各縣幫助興起了教會。和教士只是在屬靈上輔助他們﹐照著主的話建立基督的身體﹐對於他們的行政從來不過問。經多年勞苦的功效﹐同工人數也逐漸增加﹐經過她培訓後﹐就在長樂﹑閩侯各縣工作。後來又有丁素心﹑葉松芳﹑陳瑞蘭﹑李牧先等姊妹也出來全時間事奉﹐加入這
個工作陣容。
她在主的工場上﹐始終慇懃忠心﹐在各地佈道時﹐常受人的藐視﹑凌辱和厭棄。但她以為主受苦為樂﹐為福音﹑為人的靈魂並不灰心喪膽﹐數十年工作如一日﹐始終堅持不懈。在工作上她不只以屬靈的原則要求自己﹐她同樣要求她的同工。比如﹐當她自己和同工們出外佈道時﹐對於外邦人一無所取﹐她強調同工要學當初的十二使徒們﹐專心以祈禱傳道為事﹐她不贊成人過著一面傳道﹑一面織帳棚的兩面生活。
她不傳新派的社會福音﹐只傳耶穌和他的十字架。她的同工雖來自不同的背景﹐她卻勸他們當以基督耶穌的心為心﹐同心合意﹐興旺福音﹐分別自己為聖﹐脫離世俗與罪惡﹐成為聖潔合乎主用的器皿。她不過年﹐不做年糕﹐不吃瓜子﹐不受世俗所影響。同工間男女界限絕對分明﹐彼此之間極少接談﹐最多只是代禱。有一次一個同工與一個十五歲的女學生一同挑水﹐就受到和教士嚴厲的申斥。
她重視禱告過於工作﹐常召集同工﹐每月舉行月禱會﹐以禱告來托住鎊地的工作﹐使各地的工作得到順利的開展。
她對同工一面有嚴厲的要求﹐但另一面她充滿了愛心和關懷。已逾八秋高齡的王靨知姊妹﹐她回憶在五十餘年前﹐蒙主恩召﹐離開福州女中教員的工作﹐專心出來事奉主過信心的生活﹐當王姊妹第一次到白牙潭﹐參加查經聚會時﹐和教士塞給她若干銀幣﹐雖然區區之數﹐然而這一點點愛的流露﹐竟在這位姊妹的心中留下了不可磨滅的印象。幾十年後的今天﹐仍是逢人訴說不已。
“父啊﹐是的”（太11:26）
我們不禁要問﹐主使用這位姊妹的原因在哪裡呢﹖她作工的秘決是什麼呢﹖為什麼人會得她的幫助呢﹖很顯然﹐她的職事是根據她的生命。後來倪柝聲弟兄的幾句格言是最好的解釋﹕“主的工作﹐就是生命的流露﹐不是為主作工﹐乃是讓主作﹗”她能為主作工是因為她肯讓主在她身上工作﹑彫刻。她有一顆愛主﹑向著主的心。有一次﹐她遭遇一個非常為難的處境﹐因為那個環境要求的代價是她所有的一切。為此她仰起帶著淚痕的臉向主說﹕“主啊﹗為著使我能滿足你的心﹐我願意破碎我的心。”另外有一次﹐倪弟兄問她﹐在遵行神的旨意上有什麼經歷。她說﹕“每一次若神遲延告訴我他的旨意﹐我就能斷定在我裡面還有不願行他旨意的心﹐我裡頭還有不正當的目的。”這是從許多
的經歷看出來的。她常問倪弟兄﹕“你喜愛神的旨意嗎﹖”而不是問他﹕“你遵行他的旨意嗎﹕”有一次她在某一件事上和主起了爭執﹐她知道主要什麼﹐在她的心中﹐她也實在要這個﹐但這件事太難了。倪弟兄聽見她禱告說﹕“主啊﹗我承認我不肯學這經歷。但請你不要向我屈服﹔主啊﹗請你稍等──我會向你屈服的士”她不願意主向她屈服而減少他對她的要求﹐她什麼都不要﹐只要討主喜悅﹗
和教士離世後幾個月﹐有人寄給倪弟兄一包遺物﹐其中有一張紙上寫著寥寥的幾句話﹕“神啊﹗我感謝你﹐因為有一個命令說﹕‘你要盡心﹑盡性﹑盡力﹑盡意愛主你的神”
她曾說過﹕“明白神旨意的秘決是﹕百分之九十五是肯順服神的旨意﹐剩下百分之五就是‘明白’了。”事實證明她的確是一個明白神的心意﹑認識神的人。有一次倪弟兄和她談一個問題﹕“到底主向門徒要求得多﹐還是信徒向主要求得多。”倪弟兄的意思是主要求得多。她說﹕“不﹗我們所看見的都是人明顯的失敗﹐主所看見的是人暗中的得勝。”這些認識顯然是她在主面前一個功課一個功課學來的﹐難怪她那樣有把握相信神﹐那樣堅定地拒絕仇敵。有一次﹐她一連四天病倒在床上﹐同工都不在﹐錢她沒有了﹐廚子也因事回家去了。她就問神﹐為什麼她會生病。主清楚給她看見這不是出於神﹐而是仇敵的攻擊。她對主說﹕“如果我錯了﹐就可以病下去﹐如果是撒旦的攻擊就病不得。”她已發四天高燒﹐但是她立刻起來﹐寫了一首詩﹐最主要的一句話是﹕“我對撒旦總是說‘不’。”寫完了之後就出去做事﹐病也好了。神不僅借著疾病讓她學功課﹐也安排其他的環境試驗她﹐看她能否對父神總是說﹕“是”。
“真知道他”（弗１﹕１７）
和受恩姊妹對於主﹐無論在客觀的認識上或是主觀的經歷上﹐都非常豐富且極有深度。根據曾在白牙潭與和教士同工的陳再生弟兄的了解﹐她對於真理的認識大約是這樣的﹕“她相信全部聖經都是神所默示的﹐于教訓﹑督現﹑使人歸正﹑教人學義都是有益的﹔她宣講神的道是按著正意解釋聖經﹐叫人明白真道﹐分別是非﹐做誠實無偽的人﹔她防止異端邪教進入教會﹐防止引誘人的邪靈﹐勸信徒警醒禱告﹑抵擋魔鬼﹐免受它的欺騙﹔她宣傳國度的真理﹐勸人要答應神得勝的呼召﹐成功為神的得勝者﹐當基督的精兵﹐跟隨元帥由苦難進入榮耀裡﹔她宣講基督再來﹐不要做愚拙的童女﹐不要做掘地埋金的仆。”。
關於她在屬靈上的主觀經歷﹐最顯著的莫過於她所學的信心的功課以及所走的信心的道路。關於這一點陳再生弟兄曾寫道﹕“和教士身體非常健康﹐得返老還童的恩典。精神象摩西﹐體力象迦勒。她一生沒有大病﹐只有小恙﹐她主張神醫﹐相信神的神跡奇事能跟隨著我們﹐所以我們同工有病都不請醫生﹑不服藥﹐每病都得到神的醫治﹐見證神是全能的神。”
在日常生活中﹐和教士學習在最小的事上仰望神的供給﹐即使是一塊肥皂或一隻發夾。據說她的頭髮是全然金黃色的﹐配上中國制的黑色發夾很不相稱﹐為此她就禱告﹐不多日她就收到從國外寄來金色的發夾。
有一位劉姊妹有三個女兒﹐一個兒子﹐家徒四壁無法生活﹐就把女兒劉玉芝賣給賴家為婢女﹐玉芝小姐長得秀美﹐賴家的弟弟想要收她為妾﹐玉芝母女聞訊後﹐相對而泣。因賴家說若無二百四十銀元來贖﹐休想離開賴家。劉玉芝的不幸被和教士知道了﹐她滿有愛心﹐不肯讓她為人小妾（那時玉芝母女已蒙恩得救）。和教士當時也沒有這筆巨款﹐為著要贖回這位姊妹﹐就勸母女向神祈求﹐她自已為她們祈求﹐求主預備贖金﹐神果然垂聽了他們的禱告﹐從國外匯來了二百四十元﹐使劉玉芝姊妹得能贖回﹐以後成為朱弟兄的配偶。
象古時亞伯拉罕一樣﹐和教士不只學習從主手中接過以撒﹐也學習將以撒放回神的手中。她年老時有一次很盼望有一件皮衣來禦寒﹐她一禱告﹐主就感動在美國的肢體寄來一件裘衣。有一天她穿上皮衣﹐遇到一位弟兄﹐那位弟兄說﹕“和教士你是個主的工人﹐怎能穿這樣上好的皮衣呢﹖”和教士聽了之後﹐就把那件皮衣收藏起來。從那一天起﹐直到她被主接去﹐都沒有再穿這件皮衣了。她覺得如果因為穿皮衣就叫人跌倒﹐就寧可不穿。
經上記著說﹕“這義是本于信﹐以致于信”。信心象蔬菜一樣是會長的。下面這個可愛的故事﹐說出和教士的信心不只成長﹐而且越過越成熟。有一次﹐和教士覺得是神的旨意要她預備十幾間房子專門用來接待信徒﹐好像公寓一樣﹐好就為這事禱告﹐神安排鄰近一所工業學校停辦﹐將學校房屋轉租給她﹐事就這樣成了。過了四年那個學校又要開辦了﹐倪柝聲弟兄因為他父親是該校董事之一﹐當他得知這個確實的消息之後﹐特別去見和教士﹐問她知道不知道這個消息﹐她說﹐她已經接到他們的通知﹐定規秋季要開學﹐並且從美國請了兩位工程師﹐他們已經動身了﹐按著他們來看﹐勢在必行了。倪弟兄問她搬不搬。她說﹕“不搬。”問她禱告了沒有﹖她說﹕“沒有。”這次連禱告都不
必。在旁邊有一位弟兄說﹐她要受撒旦欺騙了。她說﹕“你慢慢說﹐等著看。”倪弟兄問她為什麼這樣有把握。她說﹕“神不會與我們開玩笑﹐神說要辦一個公寓﹐我就辦﹔神沒有命令我停辦﹐難道會把我們攆出去﹖”於是﹐她平靜的上鼓嶺去渡她的暑假﹐好像沒有這回事。到了快下山的時候﹐忽然有一封信給她﹐告訴她學校不開了﹐請她續租房子﹐原來他們有了變動──破產了。
雖然和教士給那時在主裡還十分年輕的倪柝聲弟兄許多屬靈的幫助﹐但這並不是說他們在一些真理上的看法和見解沒有一點相異。比方說關於婦女講道﹐他們的看法不同。後來她的外甥女黎教士作見證說﹐和教士從來沒有跟倪弟兄為這事互相爭辯。有時候倪弟兄來到白牙潭﹐和教士很樂意把講臺讓給他﹐她自己在下面安靜的聽。從這裡可以看出﹐主在她身上所做的工是何等的深。需要一個無己的生命﹐才能忍受別人的異議﹐記著別人的好處。這一切對於青年的倪柝聲弟兄實在有深遠的影響。
毫無疑問的她在聖經上的認識一定得了潘湯弟兄的幫助。關於主的再來﹐對她不僅是個道理﹐更是一個等待﹐她是一個的的確確活著等主回來的人。這可以從她寫的許多等主回來的詩歌中看出來。一九二五年除夕﹐倪弟兄與和教士一同禱告﹐她禱告說﹕“主啊﹗難道你真的讓一九二五年過去嗎﹖但是在這未了的一天﹐我還是求你今天就來。”幾個月後﹐他們在路上相遇﹐和教士拉著他的手說﹕“真希奇﹐為何緣故到今天他還沒有來﹖”她許是另一個年底﹐她和倪弟兄一起散步﹐當她正在街上走著的時候﹐她對倪弟兄說﹕“她許路口在轉彎的時候﹐我們會遇見他。”
她象書拉密女一樣﹐一生被主吸引﹐她並不孤單﹐象雅歌一章四節所寫的﹐被吸引的是書拉密女﹐結果呢“她們”──眾童女──都愛你”。
“那美好的仗我已經打過了”
（提後４﹕７）
和受恩姊妹是充滿信心的人﹐有疾病不請醫生﹐不服藥﹐不打針。當一九三０年二月,她患小腸炎﹐外甥女黎教士也病臥在床。當她高燒頭痛時﹐請同住的李牧先姊妹為她按摩。等頭痛稍減時就不住的為許多同工代求﹐按同工的名字一一提名祈求。曹姊妹問她說﹕“和教士﹐你應當為自己求﹐為何一直為我們求呢﹖”她回答說﹕“你們諸位同工常常記在我的心內﹐我有負擔﹐所以為你們禱告。”大約病了十餘天就離開了世界。據說﹕當她將要離世之前﹐不住的喊著說﹕“生命﹐生命”。
巴受恩姊妹在她去世後僅遺留百余元﹐喪事結束後僅剩下幾十元﹐她實在是積攢財寶在天上。當她逝世的消息傳開後﹐許多同工都放聲大哭﹐如喪考妣。陸忠信弟兄泣不成聲地說﹕“我再也得不到愛我而責備我的屬靈的母親了。”李牧先等同工們的傷痛一直到國外弟兄來信說﹕“這事是出於耶和華。”才得了安慰。她葬于白牙潭的山巔的一座西國人公墓裡﹐由王連俊等十位弟兄共同扶棺﹐從家裡抬到墓地而葬在那裡。她的墓碑上大概是這樣寫著“和受恩教士“安息”之墓” 。
願感動和受恩姊妹的靈加倍感動我們﹗﹗
M.E. Barber (1866-1930)
James Reetzke--Editor
First Edition, 2000
Chicago Bibles and Books
Chicago, Illinois
The Christian life is a matter of the divine,
eternal life. The Lord came that His flock might have life and have it
abundantly (John 10:10). In His resurrection He sent His apostles to feed His
sheep (John 21:15, 17), again taking the principle of life. The Apostle Paul
also followed this pattern. He considered his words not merely as teachings,
but also as food to the church (1 Cor.:2) and to his fellow workers (1 Tim.
4:6).
However, in order to reach its full potential,
life requires training and discipline. The higher the expectation is, the more
training is required. For this reason the Lord charged Peter not only to feed
but also to shepherd His sheep (John 21:16). God uses discipline to bring forth
the peaceable fruit of righteousness in His children (Heb. 12:7, 11), and He
continually breathes His word to convict and correct us (2 Tim. 3:16).
In this little book we consider the Lord's
servant, Miss Margaret E. Barber, who became a seed of the divine life in
China. She learned the lessons of life, strictly disciplining herself to follow
the Lamb in detailed obedience while also becoming a pattern to train the
younger believers. Through this process she became a faithful steward,
committing her learning to faithful men who later became competent teachers
also (2 Tim. 2:2). Perhaps the most notable of those under her training hand
was Watchman Nee.
By taking up the burden to move from Great
Britain to China for the Lord's interest, Miss Barber deeply experienced the
cross and learned to live by faith. Her poems, some of which are included in
this volume, exhibit her deep experiences of Christ. She was very much in the
Lord's presence, and she eagerly anticipated His coming back.
In China she lived in a suburb of Foochow,
traveling little and receiving no publicity. She simply prayed for the Lord's
move and helped those who sought her counsel in seeking after the Lord. Through
Miss Barber, Watchman Nee obtained a foundation for his spiritual life. When
the young Brother Nee would admire the eloquence, knowledge, ability, zeal, or
natural power of persuasion shown by a Christian speaker, Miss Barber would
point out that these things were neither of life nor of the Spirit. They could
stir people up but could never minister life to people. She paid more attention
to life than to work. She also warned the young brothers against doing a
popular work, which would bring shipwreck to their spiritual life. By
deliberately putting himself before Miss Barber's instruction and strict
rebukes, Brother Nee received much help.
In Witness Lee's biography of Watchman Nee
(Watchman Nee: A Seer of the Divine Revelation in the Present Age, Anaheim:
Living Stream Ministry, 1991, 18), he mentions the help Watchman Nee got from
Dora Yu and Margaret Barber: "He frequently others that it was through a
sister [Dora Yu] that he was saved and that it was also through a sister [Margaret
Barber] that he was edified." It was Sister Barber who introduced Watchman
Nee to the writings of D.M. Panton, Robert Govett, G.H. Pember, Jessie
Penn-Lewis, and T. Austin-Sparks.
For this booklet we have put together a brief
biography of Miss Barber along with several of her poems and letters and some
words spoken in memorial to her going to be with the Lord. The biography was
translated from a source found in Mainland China, which does not give its
author. It has been edited and corrected in some points. The poems were
collected from The Dawn magazine (edited by D.M. Panton), from The Overcomer
(edited by Jessie Penn-Lewis), and from Witness and Testimony (edited by T.
Austin-Sparks). Twenty-two other poems of hers can be found in Hymns (published
by Living Stream Ministry, Anaheim, California).
The compiler expresses his appreciation to
many who helped put this booklet together. May the Lord use this volume to
instruct His children for the fulfilling of His purpose in this age.
"As unknown" (2 Cor. 6:9)
M.E. Barber is little known, not only in the
world in general, but also among most Christians. Some may realize that her
name appears in Streams in the Desert, but that is about all. She was British,
but we cannot find her name in The Dictionary of National Biography. She was a
missionary, but she was not like David Livingston or Hudson Taylor, who
accomplished great things. Her sphere of work was not large; it was mostly
limited to an obscure village in a corner of China. She was not like John
Wesley, who could say, "The whole world is my parish." She wrote
hymns, but not like the hymns written by Charles Wesley or Isaac Watts, which
can be found in most Christian hymnals. She loved the Lord and matured in the
spiritual life, but she was not Madame Guyon or Andrew Murray, who left many
writings that remain to the present.
It seems that she was a lonely traveler who
quietly appeared on the earth. She was born in 1866 in Peasenhall, County
Suffolk, England, the daughter of Louis (a wheelwright) and Martha (nee Gibbs)
Barber. At 63 years of age, M.E. Barber was taken by the Lord. Within her short
lifetime, she was twice called by the Lord to go to China. She gave up her home
and traveled in a lonely way thousands of miles to a backward country. She
lived in a village close to Foochow where she quietly gave her best years to
work for the Lord, continuing faithfully unto her death on March 1, 1930. At
her burial a brother said, "'She has done what she could' - like
Mary" (Mark 14:8). Watchman Nee, who received much help from her, was not
present at her burial, but he wrote later of his appreciation for her in his
well-known book, The Normal Christian Life. In the last chapter, "The Goal
of the Gospel" (printed separately under the title, Why This Waste?), he
quoted her words: "Lord, I am willing to break my heart in order that I
may satisfy Thy heart!"
Once someone asked her, "What are the
requirements to work for the Lord?" She replied, "The requirement to
work for the Lord is not to work." Some of the Chinese young people who
received help from her were worried about her. They wondered, "Why doesn't
she go out and establish meetings and work in a bigger city?" Instead, she
lived in a small village where it seemed nothing was happening. It seemed that
it was a waste for her to be there. One brother almost shouted at her, "No
one knows the Lord as you do. You know the Bible in a most living way. Don't
you see the need around? Why don't you go out and accomplish something? You
just sit here seemingly doing nothing. You are wasting your time, energy, and
money; you are wasting everything!"
Was there waste? After all these years, it is
clear. She was a seed of life sown by God in China. This seed surely went
through loneliness, humiliation, and seclusion. But thank God, He made her
blossom and bear fruit. Only God knows how many people received spiritual help
from her directly and indirectly. The marvelous thing is this: God caused her
to bear fruit abundantly. While she was alive, God did not let her know this.
"O the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How
unsearchable are His judgments and untraceable His ways! For who has known the
mind of the Lord, or who has become His
counselor?" (Rom. 11:33-34).
"Filled with the fragrance of the
ointment" (John 12:3)
Miss Barber went to glory more than 50 years
ago. Those helped by her who are still alive today can be counted on one
hand. But time cannot dilute the deep
impression she gave to us. One of the older sisters, who in her youth saw Miss
Barber, remembered her:
She was neither tall nor short. She had a
round face that gave the impression of being kind, weighty, godly, and sober.
She was filled with the light of the Lord so that when people sat beside her
they always felt comfortable. While she was speaking, her tone was soft and
full of joy. She always had a smiling face that caused people to forget the
suffering of human life. She could speak the Foochow dialect fluently.
Concerning the spiritual supply which Miss
Barber rendered people, that same sister recalled, "The word she released
was filled with light and life and caused people to leave all and follow the
Lord their whole life." An older brother, who was a student when he first
met her and who later became a spiritual son and co-worker of Miss Barber,
remembered this:
The first time I met her, her eyes were like
lightning, her hair was like silver, and her face was shining like an angel's.
Her countenance was lovely, just like a mother's. Her behavior was holy, her
dress was simple, and she was always smiling and kind.
She
was different from other foreigners in China. Her walk was sober. She not only
had a good reputation, but also was a good pattern. Everything she did was for
the Lord, for the glory of God.
In The Normal Christian Life, Watchman Nee
mentions an older sister who deeply affected him. This sister was Miss
Barber. When she went to be with the
Lord, he expressed his feeling: "She was one who was very deep in the Lord
and, in my opinion, the kind of fellowship she had with the Lord and the kind
of faithfulness she expressed to the Lord are rarely found on this earth."
He often mentioned her in ministering and in his private talk. He said,
"In all my life, she gave me the most help," and, "The biggest
gain in my life was to know Miss Barber."
Brother Nee went to England and the United States in 1933. After
meeting with some noted Christian leaders such as D.M. Panton, George Cutting, James Taylor, and T.
Austin-Sparks, he said, "It is hard to find someone who can compare with
Miss Barber." In 1933, when he talked with a co-worker concerning service,
he expressed his feeling, "If Miss Barber were still here, our situation
would be different." He considered her a shining Christian. As soon as he
entered her residence, he felt the presence of God. When Brother Nee started to
work for the Lord, he determined in his mind to obey the will of God no matter
what the situation was, so he considered himself as already obeying the will of
God. But whenever he went to see Miss Barber and talked with her concerning the
Lord or read the Bible with her, he realized he was short in obeying the will
of God.
When Miss Barber lived in Pagoda Anchorage,
she always spoke for the Lord. God not only expressed His will through her
speaking, but He also spoke through her person. Once Brother Nee testified,
"I heard many brothers and sisters talk about being sanctified, so I began
to study the doctrine of sanctification. I found approximately 200 verses
concerning sanctification. I memorized them and put them in sequence. But what
sanctification was, I still was not clear. I felt empty inside, until one day I
met this elderly sister. She was holy. On that day my eyes were opened. I saw what
it is to be sanctified. The person I met was holy. I had a very strong
impression of this. That light caused me to push forward. I could not escape,
and this caused me to see sanctification."
In 1922 Miss Barber was 56 years of age.
Brother Nee was still young, having been saved for no more than two years. He
was filled with many blueprints, grand ideas, and wonderful plans which could
touch people and move them, all waiting for God's approval. He felt that it
would be wonderful if the many things in his hands could be put into practice.
He brought these to Miss Barber with great excitement, hoping to persuade her
to agree that all of them should be done. Later he testified, "Before I
opened my mouth to speak about my plans, she spoke some heavy words. Then the
light came and put me to shame. My work was so natural, filled only with the
human element. As the light came in, I was brought to the point that I could
only tell the Lord, 'Lord! My mind is only paying attention to the activity of
the flesh. Here is a person who never thinks about such things. Her only motive
and hope is for God.'"
In one of her papers she had written, "I
want nothing for myself; I want everything for the Lord." This was her
prayer to the Lord. This word may have been drawn from the autobiography of a
prominent national leader, who said, "For myself, I want nothing. I want
everything for my country." Later, Watchman Nee quoted this impressive
prayer as his motto. No doubt this prayer, which issued from the depths of her
being, exactly described and explained Miss Barber's life.
"Dwelt as a foreigner in the land of
promise"(Heb. 11:9)
Miss
Barber first went to China in 1899. She was sent to the city of Foochow,
Fukien, where she taught in the Tau Su Girls' High School (a school begun and
operated by the Church of England) for seven years. Because she had the rich
life of Christ overflowing in her excellent living, many students were
attracted and desired her instruction. This made the principal jealous of. The
principal accused her of ten "illegal" matters. While she was being
carefully examined, she felt before the Lord, "If the thumb argues with
the little finger, it only hurts the head; so I should just leave this
school." She was completely obedient to the Lord and quietly left the Tau
Su Girls' High School. Even so, a list of her "crimes" was sent to
the headquarters of the British mission. At that time she learned to remain
silent under the shadow of the cross. She would rather suffer misunderstanding
than defend herself. She returned to England and continued to avoid vindicating
herself until the brother responsible for the mission told her, "As your
authority I charge you to tell me the facts of what happened in China. Don't
hide anything." Then she told him what had happened.
After her return to England, she met Brother
D.M. Panton, the editor of the Christian magazine, The Dawn. She received much
help from him. He was clear about the matter of denominations. He also knew the
prophecies of the Bible and the truths concerning overcoming. He influenced her
to live as a person waiting for the Lord to come back. She stayed in England
for two years. During that time she exercised faith and prayed that the Lord
would open the way for her to go back to work in China. Finally in 1909, with
fellowship from D.M. Panton and the Surrey Chapel, Norwich, where he
ministered, she returned to China.
This time there was no big mission to support
her. Her niece, Miss Ballard, who was twenty years her junior, accompanied her
to China. Miss Ballard had her own little savings, but Miss Barber had only the
Lord of Psalm 23 as her supply. Like Abraham, she trusted the Lord to supply
her needs and to lead her where she should go. While the ship crossed the Min
River in China, she quietly looked to the Lord in dependence for her needs and
her future. When she came upon the beautiful scenery of Pagoda Anchorage, she
felt that this was the location God had arranged for her work. Later she rented
a house in Pagoda Anchorage and lived there until she departed to be with the
Lord. The landlord was Sister Shia, who was the principal of an orphanage.
Pagoda Anchorage was an obscure place near the
sea, and there Miss Barber lived in a simple house. This was in sharp contrast
to the fine house where she had lived the first time she was in China. To reach
her house from Foochow, one had to take a steamship to Mai Wei, then a little
boat to a nearby village, then walk along the path on the hillside to some old
wooden houses. In one of the houses was her bedroom, where she would fellowship
with the Lord. Other houses were for hospitality.
Pagoda Anchorage to Miss Barber was like
Canaan to Abraham. It was her "promised land." But would God take
away this land? After Miss Barber had been living there for a while, the
landlord decided that she needed the houses for the orphanage. She wanted Miss
Barber to move, and she sent workmen to make repairs on the houses. It seemed
that this was the end of Miss Barber’s stay there. However, she trusted that God
would not go against what He had promised. With confidence she prayed, "O
Father God! I beg You to make Your promise firm." In the end, the landlord
sent someone to tell her that the repaired houses would be hers to live in. She
resided there until her departure to be with the Lord in 1930. Miss Ballard
continued to work in Pagoda Anchorage until 1950, when she left God's
"promised land" and returned to England.
"Having patiently endured, he obtained
the promise" (Heb. 6:15)
Pagoda Anchorage was prepared by the Lord, but
it was often clear that "God hath not promised skies always blue"
(Hymns #720). One day, because of pressure from every side, she was fully
discouraged and had no hope, but the Lord stood with her and empowered her.
Because of this experience she wrote the following poem (Hymns #662):
"On
toward the goal!" Press on!
Alone,
yet unafraid;
He cut
the path, who beckons thee,
On then,
and undismayed.
"On
toward the goal!" Press on!
The eyes
that are a flame
Are
watching thee, what then are men?
What
matter praise, or blame?
"On
toward the goal!" Press on!
Look not
behind thee now,
When just
ahead lies His "Well done,"
And
crowns await thy brow.
"On
toward the goal!" Press on!
Blind,
deaf and sometimes dumb
Along the
blood-marked, uphill way,
Hard
after Christ, press on!
From the loneliness and hardship expressed in
this poem, one can see what one of her co-workers meant when he recalled:
From the prosperous mountain city, Hwei Chen,
she moved to unfamiliar Pagoda Anchorage, where she led a lonely, quiet life.
No one had the same mind as she had. No one
sympathized with her. She had no financial support; she simply trusted the Lord
to meet all her needs. At that time the western missionaries who lived in
Foochow heard the rumors, "Miss Barber is staying in Pagoda Anchorage. She
has a hard and poor life; often she does not have enough food and
clothing." A missionary sister went to visit her to find out what was
happening. When she arrived at Pagoda Anchorage, Miss Barber was feeding bread
and milk to a puppy. This sister said, "The rumors concerning you are
lies. God is giving you such amazing grace." Miss Barber listened and
smiled, saying, "Thank the Lord! Praise the Lord!"
It was not the fact, however, that she never
went through financial hardships. Once she had bills to pay, but her pockets
were empty. At that time a modernist came to offer her some monetary help.
Since he had told her not to be "superstitious" about God, she
refused his help. Even though she needed the money desperately, she was
faithful to trust the Lord, and the Lord took care of her needs. The next day,
she received a large sum of money from Brother D.M. Panton in Norwich, England.
She wrote a letter asking why he had mailed her the money. He replied that, at
the time of her need, he had not been aware of her situation, but while he was
praying, he had sensed that he should mail her the money.
Miss Barber cared for spiritual principles.
She wanted to live like the Israelites who gathered manna in the wilderness
every day or like Elijah who stayed by the torrent Cherith (1 Kings 17:3)
waiting for God to command ravens to feed him with bread and meat. One day two
brothers came from overseas to visit Miss Barber and her co-workers. These
brothers were concerned about the co-workers' living and finances and suggested
that the co-workers do some business for the Lord's sake such as mailing some
Chinese green tea and embroidery to them. They would sell the tea and make a
profit for the Lord's work. Miss Barber, however, refused their suggestions.
She was faithful to keep her spiritual principles.
"Revive your work in the midst of the
years" (Habakkuk 3:2)
Miss Barber was very much a person of prayer.
She trusted that the Lord would supply not only her need but also the needs of
the work. Both she and Miss Ballard deeply felt how limited they were in their
flesh. Some wondered what two women could do for the Lord. They were weak
sisters without the support of a mission, but they were not weak in spiritual
insight. They wanted China, no matter how backward and vast it was, to turn to
Christ. This seemed to be a distant dream, but they realized that God would
rise up some young people for His own sake. For this they prayed specifically
for over ten years.
God answered their prayer. Near their
residence a big revival took place, and God rose up some young people who loved
the Lord. Among them were Leland Wong, Lian Zin Wong, Faithful Luke, Zai-Shen
Chen, Shin Zen Chang, and Watchman Nee.
Among the sisters were Son-Fan Gi, Shi Gen Song, and Rei-Yu Lin. These
sisters were deeply impressed with Miss Barber and moved in order to live with
her and work together. Sister Gi gave up her job as a teacher, moved to Pagoda
Anchorage, and stayed with Miss Barber until her departure. Later, when the
Lord had taken Miss Barber and in memory of her, Sister Song felt led of the
Lord to move to Pagoda Anchorage and be with Sister Gi until she also went to
be with the Lord.
To meet the many spiritual needs, Miss Barber
prepared a group of houses around her residence for the purpose of hospitality.
One of those houses was used as a place of meeting. Here meetings were held
regularly for edification. For one or two weeks she would help those students
and young people who so desired. Some recall that during conferences three
sessions of Bible study were held daily. After each meeting those who attended
were expected to review their notes, write poems, and carry out their
assignments. In addition to these conferences, truth classes were set up for
friends in nearby villages who were hungry for the gospel. In these classes
gospel truths such as the existence of God, man's sin, judgment, and the Lord's
salvation could be expounded systematically. How was Miss Barber able to carry
out the work of raising up people by training them? She did not rely on
donations, nor did she trust in advertising or in strong financial backing. She
simply trusted that God would meet the needs.
Once a brother named Dr. Mike visited Pagoda
Anchorage from abroad. He went to see Miss Barber and contacted many of the
dear co-workers. He was very happy and quite impressed with what he saw. Since
the co-workers did not have a regular salary, he felt that their living must be
hard. So he made a suggestion: "Why don't you give your group a name?
After I go back to my country, I can report to my mission. They will mail you
money regularly. Then you can work without ever worrying about finances."
Miss Barber, however, stubbornly refused his suggestion. The way of faith is
truly a lonely way.
What kind of help did she render the young people? We can get some idea
from the recollections of an older sister:
Out of respect for her age, we called her Aunt Barber. She, however, did
not agree. She said, "We are all in the Lord. No matter whether we are old
or young, we are all the same. There is little difference concerning age in the
Lord. You can just call me Sister
Barber." From that time on, all the older sisters were called
"sister." Her teaching of the
sisters stressed that they should be serious and should aspire to be quiet and
submissive. She referred repeatedly to the books of 1 Thessalonians and 1
Timothy, expounding these two books in detail. This left a deep impression.
She taught
the sisters to obey the truth and the authorities. She stressed the crucial
importance of head covering. She
encouraged the sisters to speak less, to learn
to trust God, and not to have contentions of words, which are useful for
nothing but to bring ruin to the hearers. She respected and treasured those who
genuinely loved the Lord. She cared for Watchman Nee, Kwang-hsi Weigh, and
Faithful Luke, taking them as her genuine children in faith. They, in turn,
were touched to forsake everything and to serve the Lord all their lives.
"Apples of gold in pictures of
silver" (Proverbs 25:11)
Around
1922, almost every Saturday for about a year, Watchman Nee would go to Sister
Barber to receive help. Some young brothers who were raised up by the Lord with
Brother Nee also went there for help. Soon, however, most of them were afraid
to go, because she rebuked them severely. Her rebukes bothered them. One
brother felt her dealing was unreasonable. But after being dealt with, they all
felt they had received much help.
At that time there were seven young brothers
meeting in Foochow every Friday for fellowship concerning church affairs. However, most of the time was spent in
arguments between Brother Nee and another leader. This leading brother was five
years older than Brother Nee. Each thought he was right and liked to criticize
the other's ideas. Sometimes Brother Nee lost his temper and did not want to
apologize. He would go to Sister Barber to complain and to ask her to judge the
situation. Sister Barber, however, rebuked Brother Nee and said: "The
Bible says the younger should obey the elder. You should obey him."
Brother Nee did not want to obey. He said,
"I cannot possibly do this. A Christian should act reasonably." Sister Barber answered,
"Whether it is reasonable or not, you need not care. The Scriptures say
that the younger should obey the elder."
Brother Nee had wept two days previously,
after the dispute, and now after listening to Miss Barber, he was angry and
wept again. He wished that he could have been born earlier, so that the other
brother would have to obey him. It so happened that the brother who was older
than Brother Nee did not obey an even older brother in a later dispute. This
time Brother Nee felt that he was obviously right and that his co-worker was
wrong. This time he would win the victory. But when he went to Miss Barber, he
said: "Whether the co-worker is wrong or not is another matter. While you
are accusing your brother before me, are you like one who is bearing the cross?
Are you like the Lamb?"
Brother Nee later testified: "That is all
she said. I felt very ashamed. That year I learned some of the most precious
lessons of my life."
Sister Barber really knew how to help others.
Once Brother Nee wrote several good hymns in one night. He thought he would
receive a compliment, but instead Sister Barber poured cold water on him. She
said, "A hymn, like milk and honey, is the outflow of a life that has
learned lessons and is dealt with. This cannot happen in one day and one
night."
After Brother Nee decided to serve the Lord,
he met Sister Barber. She asked him, "Are you serving the Lord? What does
the Lord want you to do?"
Brother Nee answered, "The Lord wants me to serve Him." Again
she asked, "What were you going to do if the Lord didn't want you to serve
Him?" He replied, "The Lord surely wants me to do something."
Then she read from Matthew chapter 15 about the breaking of bread and asked,
"How do you understand this passage?" Brother Nee said, "First
the Lord took the loaves and fish in His hand. Through His blessing they were
multiplied and fed four thousand."
Sister Barber spoke in a serious tone:
"All the loaves in the Lord's hand were broken and given out by the Lord.
The unbroken bread could not be transformed and feed others. Brother, please
remember, many times I was just like the bread saying, 'Lord! I give myself to
You.' However, in my heart I still held out hope, as if to say, 'Lord, even
though I have given myself to You, don't break me.' We always want to offer the
bread whole, not broken. But no loaf which has been put in the Lord's hand has
ever been left unbroken."
Sister Barber often helped people through a
touching word that met their need. One day an elderly sister was criticized for
obeying the Lord, and she went to tell Sister Barber. She warned her, "If
Satan attacks, you must learn to stand firm in the Lord. Beware of Satan's
smile, lest you surrender." Another time she wrote a letter to Miss Dora
Yu, saying: "If Satan can seize our thoughts, then he already controls our
life." Whenever someone was sick, even if it was only a cold, she always
asked: "Do you know why?"
The Lord's servant, Brother Chen, recalled the help he received by
listening to Sister Barber's word: "She taught us the lessons of faith and
encouraged me to walk the way of faith. She often told me: 'Don't be afraid;
just believe.' I will never forget this word."
Once while praying with a younger brother, she
read Ezekiel 44, the chapter about serving the Lord or serving the temple. She
said: "Young brother, when I read this chapter about 20 years ago, I
immediately closed the Bible, knelt down, and prayed: 'Lord! Let me serve You, not the temple.'"
The help that she gave these young brothers was
more profitable than many conferences and messages. Later, it proved to be the
most effective and permanent kind of help, since it supplied the receiver
throughout his life.
"How beautiful are the feet of those who
announce the news of good things!" (Rom. 10:15)
Although Sister Barber was recognized as a
good teacher who knew how to perfect people, she still did not give up her
gospel-preaching duty. About ten miles from Pagoda Anchorage, in the house of
Mr. Lee, a seeking friend, Sister Barber was often seen cooking in the kitchen
and preaching the gospel to the family and other friends in her broken Foochow
dialect.
At first she felt awkward in preaching the
gospel, because she could not speak much Chinese. Therefore, she hired Pastor Lee
from the Anglican denomination to teach her the Foochow dialect. Before long
she could speak. Because she wanted to save souls, she went with Pastor Lee to
preach the gospel in Lian-chiang County. The Spirit of the Lord was with them.
A young man named Peter Roan believed in the Lord. Then a group of older women
received the Lord Jesus' salvation, left their idols, and turned to God. Some
even gave their lives to the Lord and became Sister Barber's co-workers.
After a few years, the number of the believers
increased. Sister Barber helped to raise up churches in Chantung and
Lian-chiang County. In obedience to the Lord's word, she helped them only in
spiritual things, to build up the Body of Christ. She would not touch anything
concerning church administration. After several years' hard labor, the number
of the co-workers also increased gradually. After being trained by Sister
Barber, they worked in Chantung and Min-hour County. At that time Sister Ding,
Sister Yeh, Sister Chen, and Sister
Lee were added to the work and began to serve the Lord full-time.
Sister Barber was diligent and faithful to
take the Lord's word into His field. When she preached the gospel, she was
often despised and insulted. But she rejoiced in her sufferings for the Lord,
for His gospel, and for the people's souls. She was not discouraged, and she
did not lose heart. In laboring through a period of several decades as if it
were one day, from the beginning to the end she never lost heart.
In keeping spiritual principles, Sister Barber
was not only strict with herself; she was also strict with her co-workers. For
example, when they went out to preach the gospel, they would take nothing from
the Gentiles (3 John 7). She exhorted her co-workers to follow the twelve
apostles in focusing on prayer and the preaching of the gospel. She disagreed
with living a life of two sides:
preaching the gospel on the one hand, and
making tents on the other.
Moreover, she did not preach the social
gospel; she only preached the cross of Christ. Even though her co-workers came
from different backgrounds, she encouraged them to have the heart of Christ and
to be in one accord. They learned to preach the gospel, to be sanctified by
being separated from worldly things and sins, and to be proper vessels that the
Lord could use. She did not celebrate the Chinese New Year, and she was not
influenced by the worldly fashion. Her co-workers kept an absolutely clear
separation between male and female. There were few talks between the two; for
the most part they only prayed for each other. One co-worker was rebuked by
Sister Barber after he carried water with a 15-year-old female student.
She paid more attention to prayer than to
work. She gathered the co-workers monthly for prayer. They used prayer to
sustain the work in every place and to help it develop smoothly.
Although she was extremely strict with the
co-workers, she was also full of love and consideration. At the age of 80,
Sister Wang recalled the time when she had been called by the Lord 50 years earlier.
She had left her teaching job to serve the Lord and to live by faith. The first
time she came to Pagoda Anchorage and attended the Bible study meeting, Sister
Barber gave her some money. The amount was small, but the giving revealed love.
The memory remained so fresh in the heart of the receiver that, even ten years
afterward, she would tell the story to everyone she met.
"Yes, Father" (Matt. 11:26)
Why did the Lord so use Sister Barber? What
was the secret of her work? Clearly her ministry corresponded to her life.
Brother Nee later explained, "The
Lord's work is only the outflow of life. It is not a matter of working for the
Lord, but of letting the Lord work in you." She could work for the Lord
because she allowed the Lord to work on her and mold her.
She had a heart to love the Lord and to live
unto Him. Once she was facing a situation that was difficult because the price
it demanded involved everything she had. In this situation she lifted up her
eyes with tears and said, "Lord! In order to satisfy Your heart, I am
willing to have my heart broken."
Another time, Brother Nee asked her about her
experiences of obeying and doing the will of God. She said, "Whenever God
delays in telling me His will, I find that I still have a disobedient heart and
an improper motive within me." She learned this through many, many
experiences. She often asked Brother Nee, "Do you love God's will?"
She did not ask, "Do you obey His will?"
One time Sister Barber was disputing with the
Lord concerning a certain matter. She knew what the Lord wanted, and in her
heart she truly wanted the same thing, but it was too difficult for her.
Brother Nee heard her pray, "Lord, I admit that I am not willing to learn
this lesson. But please do not surrender to me. Lord, please wait! I will
surrender to You." She did not want the Lord to surrender to her and
lessen His demands on her. She did not want anything other than to please the
Lord. Several months after Sister Barber passed away, someone sent Brother Nee
a box of her possessions. Among them was a note with these words: "Lord,
thank You for this commandment: 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your
heart and with all your soul and with all your mind!'"
She once said: "The secret to
understanding the will of God is that 95% is a matter of submitting to the will
of God, and only 5% is a matter of understanding." She herself proved to
be a person who truly understood the will of God and knew God.
Once Brother Nee brought this question to her:
"All in all, did the Lord request more from His disciples than they
requested from Him?" Brother Nee thought that the Lord requested more.
Sister Barber answered, "No! We see the
outward failures of men; the Lord sees their hidden victories." This kind
of understanding must have been learned lesson by lesson before the Lord. No
wonder she could be so confident in believing God and could stand so firmly in
rejecting the enemy!
One time she was sick for four days in a row.
She had no co-workers with her and no money, and even the cook had gone
home. She asked God why she was sick.
The Lord showed her clearly that the sickness was not from God, but was an
attack from Satan. She told the Lord,
"If I am wrong, then the sickness will continue. But if this is Satan's
attack, then I shall not continue to be sick." She had already suffered
with a high fever for four days, but she rose up immediately and wrote a hymn
whose first line reads, "To the foe my word is always, 'No.'" After finishing
the hymn, she went out to work; the sickness was gone. However, God did not
only teach her lessons through sickness; He also arranged many other
environments to test whether she could always say "yes" to the
Father.
"The full knowledge of Him" (Eph. 1:17)
Sister Barber was rich and deep in the Lord,
both in objective knowledge and in subjective experience. Brother Tzai-sheng
Chen, who had lived in Pagoda Anchorage and was a co-worker of Sister Barber,
summarized her understanding of the truth this way:
She believed that all Scripture is
God-breathed and profitable for teaching, for conviction, for correction, for
instruction in righteousness. She preached God's word by cutting straight the
word of the truth. She led us to know the truth, to discern right and wrong,
and to be honest and sincere. She prevented heresies and cults from coming into
the church, fought against the evil spirit of temptation, and encouraged the
saints to admonish one another, to pray, and to stand against the devil to resist
his deception. She preached the truth of the kingdom, encouraging us to enter
into the kingdom and to seek first His kingdom and His righteousness. She
preached the truth of the cross - that we have died with Christ and have been
buried with Him and resurrected with Him - and admonished us to reckon
ourselves to be dead to sin, but living to God in Christ Jesus. "It is no
longer
I who live, but it is Christ who lives in me" (Gal. 2:20). She
preached the truth of overcoming, admonishing us to answer God's calling, to be
an overcomer of God, to be a soldier of Christ, and to follow our Captain into
glory through sufferings. She preached Christ's second coming, so that we would
not be foolish virgins nor evil and slothful slaves "burying our talent"
(Matt25:1-2, 26).
The most striking points in her subjective
spiritual experience were the lessons of faith that she learned and the way of
faith in which she walked. Brother Tzai-sheng Chen wrote the following about
these experiences: Sister Barber had good health, and by God's grace she
retained her youthfulness. Her freshness was like Moses', and her physical
strength, like Caleb's. Throughout her life she had no serious illness, only
minor sicknesses. She advocated being healed by God, believing that God's
wonders and signs would follow us. Therefore, the co-workers would not see a
doctor if they were sick, nor would they take medicine. Every sickness was to
be healed by God to testify that He is the Almighty God.
In daily living, Sister Barber learned to
watch for God's provision in very small things, even in one bar of soap or one
hair clip. Her hair was blond, so it didn't match her black hair clip, which
was made in China. She prayed concerning this. Not long after, she received a
blond hair clip from abroad.
There was a sister who had three daughters and
one son. They were very poor and could not support themselves any longer, so
they sent a daughter, Yuh-jy Liu, to the Lai family as a maid. Miss Liu was
very beautiful, and one member of the Lai family wanted to take her as a
concubine. When the mother and daughter heard this, they wept together, because
the Lai family would not release her unless a payment of $240 was made. Sister
Barber heard about this matter. Her heart of love could not bear to allow
Sister Liu to become a concubine. (By that time the mother and daughter had
been saved.) She encouraged both mother and daughter to pray to God. Sister
Barber did not have much money at the time, so she also prayed that God would
provide the ransom for them. God indeed heard their prayer and sent $240 from
abroad to ransom Sister Yuh-jy Liu, who later married Brother Chu.
Like Abraham of old, Sister Barber not only
learned to receive Isaac from the Lord's hand, she also learned to return Isaac
to His hand. In her old age she once hoped for a fur coat to protect her from
the cold. She prayed, and the Lord touched a believer in the USA to send her a
fur coat. One day while wearing the coat, she encountered a brother, who said:
"Sister Barber, you are the Lord's co-worker. How could you wear such a
nice fur coat?" When Sister Barber heard this, she put away the coat. From
that day on, until the Lord received her to Himself, she never again wore that
fur coat. If the coat would stumble others, she would rather not wear it.
The Bible says, "The righteousness of God
is revealed in [the gospel] out of faith to faith" (Rom. 1:17). Faith is
like a plant, which grows. The following precious story shows that Sister
Barber's faith not only grew but also matured. One time, Sister Barber felt
that God had commanded her to prepare ten additional rooms or apartments
specifically for hospitality. She prayed for this. God arranged to close an
engineering school, and the building was subleased to her. Four years later,
this school reopened. Brother Watchman Nee's father was a trustee on the school
board. When Brother Nee heard the news, he went to Sister Barber and asked
whether she had heard about it. She said that she had already been notified
that the school would reopen for the fall semester. Two engineers from America
had been hired, and they were on their way. According to the school
authorities, the reopening could not be avoided. Brother Nee asked her whether
they should move her or not. She answered, "We're not moving." He
asked her if she had prayed, and she said, "No." This time she did
not even need to pray. Another brother told her she was being deceived by
Satan. She said, "Wait and see." Brother Nee asked how she could be
so confident. She said, "God is
not joking with us. He said to take the apartment, so I did. He did not stop
me. How could He kick us out?" So she took her summer vacation peacefully
in Kuling (later the location of Brother Nee's training center), as if nothing
had happened. Just when she was about to go back, a letter suddenly arrived. It
said that the school would not open and asked her to rent the building again,
because the school had gone bankrupt.
Sister Barber gave Brother Nee, who was very
young at that time, much spiritual help. However, they did have some
differences in their understanding of the truth. For example, they held
different views about sisters prophesying. Sister Barber's cousin, Sister Lee,
later testified that they never argued about this matter. Sometimes Brother Nee
came to Pagoda Anchorage. Sister Barber generously gave him the podium to
speak. She herself sat and listened quietly. This shows how deeply the Lord had
worked within her. It requires a life of selflessness to endure others'
differing viewpoints while remembering their merits. All these things affected
young Brother Nee very deeply.
There is no doubt that Sister Barber received
much help from Brother Panton in understanding the Bible. The Lord's return is
not just a matter of knowing but also of waiting. She was truly one who lived
for the Lord's return. This is evident in the many hymns she wrote concerning
waiting for the Lord's coming back. On the eve of 1925, Brother Nee and Sister
Barber were praying together. She prayed, "Lord, will You really let the
year 1925 pass away? Although it is the last day of the year, I still ask You
to come today." A few months later Brother Nee met her on the street.
Sister Barber took his hands and said, "This is strange. Why has He still
not come, even up to today? Maybe He will come before next year." As she
walked with Brother Nee on the street, she said that they might meet Him at the
next corner.
She, like the Shulamite, was drawn by the Lord
all her life. She also was not alone. As in Song of Songs 1:4, the one who is
drawn is the Shulamite, but "we" - many virgins - "will run
after You."
"I have fought the good fight" (2
Tim. 4:7)
Sister Barber was full of faith. She would not
see a doctor, take medicine, or take an injection when she was sick. At the end
of February 1930 she contracted enteritis. Her cousin, Sister Lee, was also
sick and bedridden. Sister Barber asked her roommate, Sister Mu-She Lee, to do
the massage for her high fever. After her temperature came down, she prayed for
many of her co-workers by name. Sister Tsou asked her, "Sister Barber,
when you should be praying for yourself, why do you only pray for us?" She
answered, "All of you co-workers are always on my mind. I am burdened, so
I pray for you." After several days of sickness, she left this world. It
is said that before she departed she was shouting, "Life, life!"
She had a few hundred dollars at the time of
her death. After her funeral expenses, only about twelve dollars were left. She
had truly stored up her treasure in the heavens. Upon hearing the news of her
death, many co-workers cried as desperately as if they had lost their own
parents. Brother Tsung-Shin Chen wept, saying, "I can't reach my spiritual
mother, who loved me and corrected me." Some co-workers, like Sister
Mu-Shan Lee, suffered a grief that could not be soothed until they received a
letter from overseas that said, "This thing is from the Lord."
Sister Barber was buried in a cemetery for
foreigners on top of the mountain at Pagoda Anchorage. Several brothers,
including Brother Lan-Ju Wang, bore her coffin from her house to the cemetery.
Her tombstone was engraved, "The Resting Place of Sister Barber."
The following letter appeared in The Dawn
magazine, II, 1925-26, 285, in response to an article that had appeared in The
Dawn called "Testing the Supernatural."
Dear Sir,
Your valuable article on "Testing the
Supernatural" in the May Dawn has interested us deeply. Here in China
demon powers are manifesting themselves in new ways; and even in the Churches
there have been cases of evil spirits pretending to be Jesus Christ.
One case may be of interest. Last autumn, near
Amoy, in a preacher's house one night, a voice was heard in the ceiling and a
light appeared. The voice professed to be that of the former preacher who had
lived in that house, and had died there twenty years ago. It soon became known
all over the country-side that the old pastor was speaking from the roof of his
former dwelling, to any who would go and hear, and crowds flocked day by day.
The utterances were extraordinary: -full of Scripture; exhortations to live a
holy life were frequent; and people of evil character dare not go, because no
sooner were they seated, than the voice would address them by name, and ask
them to repent of their sins. In most cases, sins known only to the person and
the spirit addressing them were revealed. There is a well-known man in Amoy, a
Chinese physician trained in America, and a real Christian. His fees were very
high; and to his amazement, when he went to the house, the spirit called on him
to repent of the sin of covetousness, and commanded him to reduce his fees. So
great was the effect on him that he now treats poor patients for nothing and is
in many ways a transformed character.
A brother who preaches the Gospel in the Amoy
district came to see me and asked me if I did not believe that this spirit was
really the voice of God. He said, "No one in Amoy, scarcely, doubts it;
though a few missionaries perhaps may be a little skeptical." I told him
about testing the spirits, and advised him to use the test of 1 John 4:2. The
spirit never becomes visible, but often a brilliant light is seen hovering over
the house.
Ultimately the test was put by a worker we
know and trust. After putting the test, there was silence for about half an
hour; and then the voice said, "Read 1 Corinthians 13:13." As you say
in the article, the "not confessing" is sufficient proof of the origin
of the manifestation. Many Chinese
Christians have been utterly deceived; they well know the supernaturalism of
heathenism, but it has never entered their heads that a demon could manifest
himself in a Christian church, use Scriptural terms, exhort to goodness instead
of evil, and press the reading of the Bible.
I am, etc.,
MARGARET E. BARBER
Pagoda Anchorage
Fukien, China
The following letter was sent to D.M. Panton
regarding Brother Watchman Nee, a brother of 23 years of age. Permission has
been kindly granted by Lewis Schoettle (Schoettle Publishing Company) to
reprint this letter, the original of which is in his possession.
Letter Two
Pagoda Anchorage
S. China April 2, 1926
Dear Mr. Panton,
I am sure you will be interested in Dr.
Huang's letter. I sent him Govett's "Race & Crown." I only lent
it as I have only that one precious copy. He has also the "Vanguard
Reprints" which are so precious. Can I get the leaflets from Mr. Tilney?
Nothing you ever printed was more valuable than those concise rich Bible
Studies called "Vanguard Reprints." Why not print one each month in
The Dawn?
Please do not let Faithful Luke & Watchman
Nee (Henry Nga is his home name) worry you with letters. It is so good &
kind of you to have written once to them. They are likely to be tiresome. They
write to Mr. Wright Hay or any Editor whose address they can get & do not
understand how precious time is to a busy Editor. For many reasons I think you
should not be feeling obliged even to answer their letters. These two young men
are in great danger. They have a mental apprehension of God's Truth which
unless lived out will be their peril.
Three sisters & one brother [were]
baptized here this week by Leland Wang. We have precious bands of village men
& women coming for teaching. Faithful is splendid with personal work &
this work amongst men & Miss Fek & Miss Ding are much used among the
women.
Satan hates this witness. I feel his rage at
times but Jesus is Victor & the Lord God is a sun & shield. The Lord
will give grace (for today) & glory (Rapture!). So we press on.
May you be shielded. We pray for you. May you
be kept in God's quiver!
Yours ever gratefully
Margaret Barber.
"His Truth shall be thy shield."
Hallelujah! [Written along the left edge:] Dear Folks - Helen Clark! Her last
letter drove me to my knees. The Lord keeps her.
In Memoriam
After
Sister Barber went to be with the Lord, many words of remembrance were expressed
especially by those who personally knew her. Two among these were D.M. Panton
and Watchman Nee.
Miss Margaret E. Barber, also in Fukien and a
contributor to The Dawn, is another magnificent stalwart for Christ who has
passed to her rest. These leave us an imperishable inspiration. In Miss
Barber's last letter to the Editor, all unconscious of her call, sheen closed a
single verse from her own poem.
Just a few more miles, beloved! and our feet
shall ache no more; No more sin, and no more sorrow - hush thee, Jesus went
before: And I hear Him sweetly whispering - "Faint not, fear not, still
press on. For it may be ere tomorrow the long journey will be done." [Hymns, #628] -The Dawn, Vol. VII, 1930-31,
373.
We feel most sorrowful concerning the news of
the passing away of Miss Barber in Lo-Hsing Pagoda, Fukien. She was one who was
very deep in the Lord, and in my opinion, the kind of fellowship she had with
the Lord and the faithfulness she expressed to the Lord are rarely found on
this earth. In reading the hymn published on the cover of this issue of the
magazine, one can imagine the kind of person she was. -"An Open Letter," dated March 12, 1930, in The Present
Testimony, Issue No. 13.
(Watchman Nee, The Collected Works of Watchman
Nee, Set One, Vol. 8, 96. Anaheim, CA: Living Stream Ministry, 1992).
Poems
Buried?
Yes, but it is seed
From
which Continents may feed;
Millions
yet may bless the day
When that
seed was laid away.
Buried!
hidden! out of sight!
Dwelling
in the deepest night;
Losing,
underneath the sod,
Everything,
except its God.
Buried,
unremember'd, lost-
So thinks
man: but all the cost
God has
counted to display
Life
abundant one glad day.
Art thou
buried? God's pure seed
Doth thy
heart in silence bleed?
Change
thy sighing into song,
Thus
alone can harvests come.
Delivered
through Death!
Art thou
delivered unto death?
He was;
and still He reigns!
Death
only can unloose thy bonds,
And snap
the tightening chains.
Fear not
to die, for only thus
The power
of God can free
Unto
undying, glorious life,
Thy
spirit-ministry.
We die,
to find that death is life,
That
suffering is power;
That
death brings victory, that our foe
Is robbed
of all his power;
We die to
rise in endless life,
For
evermore to be
In
conflict, undismayed and calm,
For death
has set us free.
Dead, yet
delivered; die, O soul,
Trust God
to bring thee through;
Wrecked
on thy God, e'en death is gain.
Fear
nothing; die; and go
Through
death to prove God's mighty power
To deal
with such a foe;
To die in
faith, a risen life
By faith,
henceforth to know.
Dead, yet
delivered; short of death,
The power
must be restrained
Which
else would snap self's iron bands,
And break
the tightening chains;
So die;
and dying, God will loose
His power
to set thee free,
And thou
shalt then, through Calvary's Cross,
In
Christ, a conqueror be.
"Filled"
Blessed
mighty Holy Ghost,
Fill me
to the uttermost;
Let my
life Thy channel be,
Just a
channel, Lord, for Thee;
Through
me all Thy fullness pour,
Give me
ever more and more.
Blessed,
mighty Holy Ghost,
Fill me
to the uttermost;
Be it
unto me, O Lord,
Now,
according to Thy word,
Let the
life of Jesus be,
Ever
filling, even me.
Blessed,
mighty Holy Ghost,
Fill me
to the uttermost;
Cleansed
and holy, pure and clean,
Let the
life of Christ be seen,
Hold o'er
me Thy gracious sway,
Every
hour of every day.
Blessed,
mighty Holy Ghost,
Fill me
to the uttermost;
For Thy
love, Thy light, Thy power,
Just a
channel hour by hour,
Till my
Saviour's Face I see,
Fill me,
Lord, fill even me.
The
Fourth Watch
The
roaring sea of nations in upheaval,
The
Church afloat upon the angry foam,
The LORD,
a Watcher, sees her toil, her peril,
And in
the fourth watch of the night He'll come.
Midnight
has passed: eyes strain thro' inky darkness,
But see
not yet the shining of His face:
Lest
hearts should faint, or Hope should fold her pinions,
The
morning star in yonder heavens we trace.
The
morning star gleams on the rolling billows,
A radiant
light amid the angry storm:
Within
its beams we toil in rowing, saying,
"In
the fourth watch, perchance, we'll see His form."
In the
fourth watch-so toil a little longer,
Battling
against the storm, the wind, the tide.
How soon
we shall forget it all, beloved,
When,
with our Lord, we reach the other side!
(Mark
6:47-50; Rev. 2:28)
God's
Word
I worship
and praise and adore
And
glorify Thee, blessed Lord;
Tho' the
foe may his uttermost do,
He never
can alter Thy Word.
It
stands! though the heavens may fall,
It
stands! though the earth pass away,
And on
it, I'm standing in triumph today.
I'm
trusting in what Thou hast said,
As my
barque ploughs her way thro' the sea;
Her chart
and her compass Thy Word,
All
glory, Lord Jesus, to Thee!
I rest on
Thy promise divine,
And smile
at the gathering storm;
My barque
cannot sink, for I know,
Thou wilt
hasten Thy Word to perform.
I worship
and praise and adore,
For ever
Thy Name I will bless;
Thy Word
is sufficient for me,
However
prolonged life's distress,
I triumph
in all Thou hast said,
It
stands, whatsoever betide;
I glorify
Thee, blessed Lord,
For this,
my infallible Guide.
(Matthew
4:4)
God Will
Answer
God will
answer when, to thee,
Not a
possibility
Of
deliverance seems near;
It is
then He will appear.
God will
answer when you pray;
Yea,
though mountains block thy way,
At His
word, a way will be,
E'en
through mountains, made for thee.
God, who
still divides the sea,
Willingly
will work for thee;
God,
before whom mountains fall,
Promises
to hear thy call.
If the
Lord Still Tarry
If the
Lord still tarry,
He will
undertake;
Mountains
may be shaken,
Billows
o'er me break;
But His
word of promise
Ever will
endure;
God, our
God, is faithful,
And His
help is sure.
Holy
Spirit, Flow through Me
Holy
Spirit, flow through me,
Let my
life Thy channel be;
Let no
doubt obstruct Thy way,
Flow
through me, O Lord, today.
Flow in
rivers, not a rill,
All Thy
word to me fulfil.
Holy
Spirit, flow through me,
I would
just a channel be
For Thy
mighty living tide,
Reaching
souls both far and wide.
Flow in
rivers, not a rill,
All Thy
word to me fulfil.
(John
7:38)
Cherith
Beloved,
should the brook run dry
And
should no visible supply
Gladden
thine eyes, then wait to see
God work
a miracle for thee:
Thou
canst not want, for God has said
He will
supply His own with bread.
His word
is sure. Creative power
Will work
for thee from hour to hour,
And thou,
with all Faith's Host, shalt prove
God's
Hand of power, God's Heart of love.
(1 Kings
17:3)
"Is
Thy God Able...?"
Thou
servant of the living God,
Whilst
lions round thee roar,
Look up
and trust and praise His name,
And all
His ways adore;
For even
now, in peril dire,
He works
to set thee free,
And in a
way known but to Him,
Shall thy
deliverance be.
Dost wait
while lions round thee stand,
Dost wait
in gloom, alone?
And
looking up above thy head
See but a
sealed stone?
Praise in
the dark! Yea, praise His Name,
Who
trusted thee to see
His
mighty power displayed again
For thee,
His saint, for thee.
Thou
servant of the living God,
Thine but
to wait and praise;
The
living God, Himself will work,
To Him
thine anthem raise.
Though
undelivered, thou dost wait,
The God
who works for thee,
When His
hour strikes, will with a word,
Set thee
for ever free.
(Dan.6:20)
"That
No Man Take Thy Crown"
Be
content to be despised,
Be content
to bear the shame.
Seek no
earthly sordid prize,
Ye who
bear His Holy Name!
'Wait in
faith that glorious day
When,
before the Father's Throne,
Jesus
will your name confess,
All your
tears and labours own.
Be
content whate'er your lot
With no
settled dwelling here;
Be a
pilgrim with the Lord,
Let Him
dry the secret tear,
Let Him
be your heart's delight,
His
approval your reward;
Till in
Heaven's unsullied light
You shall
stand with Christ your Lord.
Be
content to win your prize
At the
cost of tears and blood;
Earthly
loss or gain despise,
Tread the
path that Jesus trod.
Never
take a look behind,
Keep the
promised crown in view;
Thus,
unmindful of the cost,
Thus,
come gloriously through.
"We
which Live"
LIVE, in
the love of God,
Deal with
the Lord alone!
Live in
the blaze of that white light,
That
beats about God's Throne.
LIVE,
cleaving to His Word,
Its
faithfulness to prove;
Live,
looking for thy Lord's return,
Live,
feeding on His love.
LIVE, so
that life on earth
A
foretaste shall become
Of perfect
life where God is king,
Thou heir
of Jesus' throne!
LIVE,
counting all but loss,
Save that
which draws thee in
To that
great heart which broke for thee,
Because
it bore thy sin.
LIVE,
counting nothing gain,
Save that
which makes Christ dear;
Live, set
apart to prove to men
That
earth and heaven are near.
LIVE till
thy life on earth
Shall so
unearthly be
That
Christ shall catch thee to His Throne,
Child of
eternity! (2 Cor. 4:11)
"The
Will of the Lord Be Done"
"No!"
to the will of the devil,
"Yes!"
to the will of the Lord,
So, Lord,
Thy purpose shall triumph
Through
Thine omnipotent Word.
With
Thine authority clothe me
Now, as I
stand in Thy will;
With
Thine own Spirit empower me
All Thine
own plan to fulfil.
"No!"
to the will of the devil,
"Yes!"
to the will of the Lord.
This be
my attitude always;
Saviour,
protection afford
Lest, as
I move at Thy bidding,
Satan
should close up the way;
Stand
with me, Blessed Lord Jesus,
As I Thy
precepts obey.
"No!"
to the will of the devil,
"Yes!"
to the will of the Lord,
Over the
mountains so rugged,
Over the
seas at Thy Word.
Naught
shall deter or molest me,
If,
Blessed Lord, Thou wilt be
Saviour,
Defender, and Keeper,
As I go
onward with Thee.
Other Poems by M.E. Barber
1. Glorious,
mighty Name of Jesus (Hymns, 73)
2. Lift that
Name high! That glorious Name (Hymns, 77)
3. Lord,
with Thy Holy Ghost (Hymns, 269)
4. In the
wilderness for God! (Hymns, 352)
5. Thou
Magnet of my soul! (Hymns, 356)
6. If the
path I travel (Hymns, 377)
7. There is
always something over (Hymns, 595)
8. Via Bethlehem
we journey (Hymns, 628)
9. "Wrecked
outright on Jesus' breast" (Hymns, 637)
10. Can you
be obedient? (Hymns, 657)
11. "On
toward the goal!" Press on! (Hymns, 662)
12. Deep down
into the depths of this Thy Name (Hymns, 671)
13. The days
may yet grow darker (Hymns, 710)
14. In the mighty Name of Jesus (Hymns, 775)
15. "Ask
in faith," the Name of Jesus (Hymns, 776)
16. Keep up
the song of faith (Hymns, 778)
17. "Keep
the incense burning" (Hymns, 790)
18. I dare
not be defeated (Hymns, 877)
19. Hallelujah!
Christ is Victor (Hymns, 890)
20. Not where
we elect to go (Hymns, 907)
21. Watch!
for the morning is breaking (Hymns, 957)
22.
He looked for a
city and lived in a tent (Hymns, 974)
23. To the
foe my word is always, "No" (Hymns, 880) (Adapted by Watchman Nee)
1. Cowman,
L.B. Streams in the Desert. Grand Rapids: The Zondervan Corp., 1997, pp.
207-208.
2. Family
Records Centre, 1 Myddelton Street, London EC1.
3. Hymns.
Anaheim: Living Stream Ministry, 1988.
4. Kinnear,
Angus I. Against the Tide. Fort Washington, PA: Christian Literature Crusade,
1973. (Pictures of M.E.B. from 1896 and 1928.)
5. Lee,
Witness. Watchman Nee: A Seer of the Divine Revelation in the Present Age.
Anaheim: Living Stream Ministry, 1991.
6. Nee, Watchman. The Collected Works of Watchman Nee, Vol. 33. Anaheim: Living Stream Ministry, 1992.
7. Panton,
D.M., editor. The Dawn.London: Thynne & Co., Ltd.
8. Personal
correspondence of M.E. Barber to D.M. Panton, April 2, 1926.
9. Surrey
Chapel: Book of Remembrance, 1854-1954. Norwich: Surrey Chapel, 1954. (Picture
of M.E.B. from 1909.)
Copyright © 2001 The Church in Cleveland